The calling generation and us: how to agree on communication rules without conflict or guilt

I came across a great post by Masha Poluyanova about the divide between “texters” and “callers.” And the more I observe, the clearer this line becomes.
There are people for whom the phone is the main tool. Calls are like breathing: fast, to the point — “so, what’s up?” This is mostly the 50+ generation, for whom connection = voice. Messengers are for greeting cards or photos of flowers on the windowsill.

And then there’s us, 30–40+. A hybrid. We text and call — but usually only when it’s really necessary. I don’t like calls, but sometimes it’s the only way to understand what’s going on “on the other end of the line.” I don’t send pigeons or handwritten letters with stamps. But I don’t overuse voice messages either — in that sense, I’m a bit unusual.

And here’s what matters in this generational difference:

personal boundaries are not theory, they’re practice.

The best thing you can do with any person is ask: “How is it more comfortable for you to communicate?”

Doing it right when you first meet is perfect. Write, ask, adjust.

The same goes for your own rules.

It’s helpful to formulate them once for yourself (and sometimes for others):

“After 11 p.m. I don’t pick up the phone — I’m asleep.”

“Don’t send 40 memes in a row, it’s honestly annoying.”

“Call if it’s a fire. Everything else — text.”

The main thing is this: you have the right not to pick up the phone.

Seriously. That too is a form of self‑respect.

And one small request to the world:

speakerphone in a café, taxi, or office is a direct hit to the boundaries of everyone around. Yes, even if the conversation is very important.

And for dessert: if you want to solve big grown‑up issues, arrange an in‑person meeting.

Sometimes a “no calls” format isn’t a whim, but a way to stay resourced.

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