Networking and Soft Skills: Business Communication to Build Trust.

How to speak confidently and calmly with ‘high-flyers’

Why does it become difficult to speak when you’re faced with an ‘important person’, and how can you change your attitude towards conversation? Let’s learn how to speak to those of higher status.

Why does it become difficult to speak when you’re faced with an ‘important person’?

Fear and status

You’d prepared yourself. You wanted to speak with confidence. Everything seemed to be in order. And then—just like that—instead of a conversation: a dry mouth, stammering sentences, and the thought, ‘I just want this to be over as soon as possible’.

When you’re talking to someone of higher status — be it a manager, an investor, an expert or simply an influential figure — you might experience a sort of mental block. And that’s normal. But it’s something you can work on.

Before we talk about the tools, let’s figure out exactly what’s getting in the way.

Six fears that hold us back

1. Fear of being judged.
“What if they think I’m stupid?” This thought eats away at your confidence, especially if the person you’re talking to is smart, respected, or simply older.

2. Fear of rejection.
“What if they just stay silent or say ‘not interested’?” The fear of being ignored stops you from taking the first step.

3. Fear of seeming pushy.
“I don’t want to come across as clingy or as a show-off.” Because of this, you feel too shy to take the initiative.

4. Fear of being off-topic.
“What if I start talking and they’re in a completely different world?” This is especially relevant if you’re from a different circle, industry, or level of decision-making.

5. Fear of “what if they ask and I don’t know?”
A typical block for perfectionists. You want to be 150% prepared—and end up saying nothing at all.

6. Fear that it will be awkward.
This fear sounds like: “So I walk up to him, and he… is staring at his phone. Or he says ‘sorry’—and that’s it.”

How to deal with these fears (and not just “try not to think about them”)

First, accept this: fear is not a mistake, but a signal. It’s telling you, “this matters.” You don’t get scared of things that don’t matter to you.

Second, help yourself with a simple structure:

1. Preparation.
You don’t have to be an expert in everything, but you can find out what matters to the person. Do a “mini‑research.” It gives you footing and a reason to start a conversation.

2. The first phrase is a test balloon.
Speak simply and like a human.

For example:
“I saw your post about… — it really resonated with me.”

“Can I ask a question at the intersection of your experience and my current challenge?”

This doesn’t look like “selling,” it looks like an invitation to a dialogue.

3. Don’t aim to “impress” — aim to “connect.”
Complicated words, pathos, and pomp lead nowhere. Honest curiosity, clarity, and calm work much better. They create an equal, peer‑to‑peer contact.

4. Use “future visualization.”
Imagine you’ve already talked, it was a lively conversation, and you got what you needed. You’re simply returning to that scenario. It’s easier for the brain to overcome the block this way.

5. And remember: the first contact is not an exam.
Your task is just to send a signal: “I’m open to a conversation.” Everything else is the next step.

Just speak. Speak simply

All these ‘important people’ are just ordinary people. They feel awkward sometimes too, and they have days when they lack confidence. And believe me, if you can just be yourself—calm, polite and to the point—they’ll appreciate it.

That, in a nutshell, is what status is all about. The ability to be yourself.

P.S.

How to speak:

Take your time; don’t rush.
Don’t apologise (‘Sorry to bother you...’ – best avoided).
It’s better to speak with a slight smile than with a serious expression.
Pause: ask a question – and give the other person time to reply.

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